How can we prepare Mateo for the arrival of twins? And more, how can we be sure he will be okay with it!
It is going to be a big change in our house! We are going to go from 3 to 5 in one shot!
That is my biggest concern about the twins. I do not want my little boy to feel rejected or become unhappy or feel isolated because his mommy is very busy with the girls. Mateo is a Mommies boy. It is always “Mommies turn!” for everything… changing diapers, going to bed, feeding, potty… We try to put Daddy much more in the process but he is still a Mommy boy! Is it going to change? I don’t think so… not for now anyway so how I can be sure that I will have enough time for him and just him? And even though we do a lot together now, it is still my big concern!
So what we are doing now is to speak a lot about the girls. What is good in the 40 weeks gestation is that we can prepare everybody for the arrivals! Mateo can see that I am bigger and bigger and he even says it! That is funny! “Mommy is big.. very big!!” so I always say “do you know why?” Sometimes he answers and sometime not! When he answers, he always says “there are babies inside of Mommy!”
We also try to involve him as much as possible. We built the crib with him and explained to him that when the babies will come, they will sleep there. We built it more than a month ago now and he has had time to have the idea of it! Not easy, they are going to sleep with us (no other choice by lack of space!). I am wondering if he will ask to sleep with us. He never sleeps with us. The only time was when he was sick and we want to have him close by and I also think he feel more secured! But now with the big boy bed, one of us will be able to sleep with him in his room!!
I bought some books… The only books I could found for his age is three French books! No English book at all! And I googled it a lot! I wanted that Andrew could explain him in English too! But we are lucky we found the French one!!! Mateo loves them. We read them almost every night now. (He choose the books he wants to read before bedtime not us!). So I read the story but I adapt it with his name and change a little bit that it fits better for us and for him! For example, in one of the story, it says that it is aunty that will take care of him when mommy and daddy go to the maternity! So I say that it is grandma! He always asks me about grandpa so I said we do not see him on the picture but he is sitting on the sofa!!!
Upgraded: I found two books in English. I am going to buy them and I will tell you if they are good or not!
We also make sure that Mateo was at the baby shower! I am not sure if he understood it was baby shower but he had a lot of fun! There were a lot of kids of his age so it helps! But when I started to open the presents, I was almost sure that he will be looking like crazy and asking to open them but not at all! He played and even didnt want to come to see what was going on! Very interesting actually! I was completely surprise by his reactions!
We also show him pictures when I was pregnant with him, when he was born and all his first year. He really likes it and looks a lot the pictures.
We bring him to the ultrasound appointment. Not all because it is difficult to do it every 2 weeks but we try once a month. He looks but get fast bored and move a lot. But I am sure he still interested by it and likes it.
We also bought few gifts for him when he will come to the maternity. We wanted that he doesn’t feel excluded! As we know, he loves gifts so we are sure that he will be happy!!
We are also planning to involve him as much as we can when the babies will be at home. And I am planning to go shopping with him to pick out gifts for his sisters-to-be. And I will involve him to do the packet for them!
I read that to put a picture of him in the bassinet at the maternity can also help him to identity the baby as it is the brother. We will have to expain to him that the babies are looking at him and they are very proud to have a big brother like him.
When the girls will be home, I am going to spend time each day with him without the twins. I think it doesn’t need to be for long, but Mateo will know that it will happen every day and it will still feep special. It is my little boy and he is already special for me!
But really at the end, did we prepare him enough? I know it is going to be tough for me specially at the beginning with sleep deprivation! And it is my big concern! My little boy that I love so much that I don’t want he feels opposite!