It is not easy but I do my best!

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Some days are more difficult than others… It is not easy but I do my best.

Yesterday I started the day well but I didn’t have a nap at all. (Big error when you are Mom with 2 two month old babies!) Breastfeeding takes a lot of energy and I learned how to pump so I did 3oz in one breast and only 1oz on the other.
My problem is that I made a mistake of when to pump! So I didn’t have much milk left for the girls after!

The other day we went to English Bay and Maeva was crying so I took both in the car and I started to breastfeed Maeva. Miya started to scream… I didn’t know what to do and I felt like a failure that I couldn’t answer to my baby. So I started to cry (it was like a panic attack). When Andrew arrived with Mateo he couldn’t understand my behavior!

Dad and Mom don’t have the same problem! For him it’s okay to let them scream for a few minutes but for me it’s a big deal. They were in my tummy for 37 weeks and I have them everyday and I try to answer to all their demands. They are so small. But in the car because of lack of space I couldn’t take Miya with me.
I don’t think it’s good to let cry (or scream) a baby when they are so young. They depend on us and we have to answer to them. When they are 6 months old it’s a little different (even then I still don’t like it!).

You might not understand why? But trust me as a Mom of twins it’s difficult sometimes, especially with sleep deprivation… so dealing with screaming and not able to answer her even though you know she wants to eat… it’s hard emotionally!

Nap time on mommy

Nap time on mommy


For me the relationship between Mom and their children starts as soon as they are in the tummy.
I don’t have a good relationship with my Mom. I will not explain why because it’s not the purpose but I’m very afraid that will happen with mine because I wasn’t able to answer to their needs. I know I really do my best but it is still hard for me.

I love them so much these two little peas!!


For me it’s important to always apologize and explain why I couldn’t take her. It’s difficult sometimes to take two at the same time and it’s frustrating not being able to answer to their needs!

So my advice, when you can’t answer to their needs for x or y reasons, always explain to them. It is not crazy and even though they don’t understand because they are young, the voice you use is a voice that they understand. It is very important to speak to your baby, to look at them in their eyes when you speak to them! When I change them, I always explain what I am doing and I look at them! You will notice they answer to you by a smile or a laugh!

I read one day there was a study with two groups: one Mom never spoke to their young babies and one group spoke to them. I don’t really remember all the story but I remember reading that the group where the Mom never spoke to the babies… they didn’t have same behavior. I should try to find this article as it was very interesting and scary at the same time! Also, the more you speak to your baby, the more you build your babies brain (I will do another post about that in a little while!)

So sometimes, when Andrew is changing the girls and he doesn’t speak to her, I always tell him to speak to her! I think he is thinking what for… they don’t understand anyways.

Last night, I asked Andrew if he could change Maeva because I was breastfeeding Miya and I wanted to breastfeed Maeva after. During the time, I could her Maeva screaming… so after awhile I went there and asked what was happening. He explained to me that he had to change her a second time because peed while the diaper was off and then she throw up everywhere while putting on the pj’s. I looked at Maeva and started to speak to her and to secure her by telling her that Daddy had to change her and everything is fine!

He said he was speaking to her but she prefers French! ha ha ha!! I’m not sure he spoke to her for long!! But with my voice, she stopped screaming and he was able to finish dressing her without waking up all the house!