A toddler’s adaptation to a new life with twins!
Oh ya… It was difficult for Mateo! We knew it and we tried to prepare him the best we can but the adaptation to the new life with his sisters is tough! We never prepared enough I guess! And also I think two babies must be more difficult than with just one!
I can say with time it is getting better.
When we were at Maternity, Mateo came every day so see us and the girls. He was with his Grandparents for 3 nights. It was cool because Andrew’s parents went stayed in our home so that it will not change Mateo’s habit too much. He still went to daycare as usual.
We put some pictures of him on the girl’s crib and we offered him some gifts. The first evening he came, he got some gifts from his sisters and the next day he got some gifts from Andrew and I. He was a good and very happy boy and very proud to have two sisters.
After we came back home, everything changed… I saw more of Mateo crying and whining than I saw him smiling. I felt very sad for him and even though we tried to be nice with him, his behavior wasn’t acceptable and we had to put him many times to the corner. I felt we were a little bit severe on him and after discussion with Andrew we decided that we will let go a few things to avoid tantrums. We also try to involve him more. When we need to change Maeva and Miya, we ask him if he wants to help us. He gives us a diaper and he makes sure they are okay. If they cry, he gives them a kiss on their head. When I have to breastfeed, I ask him or tell him that the girls need to eat because babies are always hungry!
After 3 weeks, I will say it is getting better. I spoke a lot with Mateo and when Andrew went back to work, I started to go to pick him up at daycare. He was happy and he is very happy every night that I pick him up. He gives me a huge hug and smiles like crazy!
We also try to have some time with only him. For Andrew it’s easy but for me it’s more difficult with the feedings! But each weekend we try to do something with him. First we continued his activities from before. So he goes to swimming lessons and sport ball. He really enjoyed them. Each week he asks for them!
During Christmas break, I went with him to the Vancouver Christmas Market and we did some carousel rides! That was fun! We also bought some ornaments for our Christmas tree. I can tell you he was happy!
Everything is not perfect but I can tell you we try to do our best to make sure that he is happy! If you have any suggestions you are welcome to share here!!!
Today, the girls are 10 weeks old and I can say that Mateo is the happy boy I knew from before. I think he took his mark and knows that mommy loves him very much.
Last weekend, Andrew went to Kelowna for his Christmas party at work. I can guarantee you it was tough. Saturday night I felt awful. The girls were fussy all afternoon and at night they want to go to sleep so they cried a lot. I had to put Mateo to bed very quickly to be able to breastfeed them and put them to bed. When I finished, I went to see Mateo who was not sleeping yet (he pood in his pullup!)
So I changed him and I took time to read him 5 French books. I felt better and I think he felt better too!
I really feel we always have to be careful that each kid has his space in the family and not to be afraid to tell them you love them!
I told Andrew that Sunday when he will be back, I will take Mateo for an Ice cream just him and I. I really feel it is important to take the time to do it. So Sunday after Mateo’s nap, we went to eat an Ice cream! He was happy to take the car and he was happy to be with me and just with me! I really enjoyed this time too. I love my boy and I want to be sure he is happy!
